rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
