At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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