I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
