take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
