i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
