Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
