So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
