i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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