i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
