Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
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