I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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