1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
