4 words: hood of his car
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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