But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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