come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
