why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
