How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
