i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
