Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
