So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
