**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Can Purell be used as lube?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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