so that wasnt chicken after all
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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