I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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