If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
