Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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