btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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