So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
