Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
