THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
