He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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