I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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