You can't special order awesome
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
