I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
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