mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
