Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
