He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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