if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
