I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
