For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
