i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
