I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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