I can't breathe out the right side of my face
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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