why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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