He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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