Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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