you guys were way drunker than both of me
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
