No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
