it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
