I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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