too bad you live with your parents still
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Drake has all the answers
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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