i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He passed out mid-signature
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
