I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You can't just leave with hair like that
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
